The Reasons Lois Broke Up with Superman

Lana Lang was visiting Metropolis when she decided to visit Lois Lane. “Hello Lois. How are things going with Superman?”

“I've broken up with Superman,” said Lois. “The Man of Steel is no longer my boyfriend. I couldn't take another moment with that man.”

Lana was shocked. “But you loved Superman. He was the man of your dreams. What went wrong?”

“I'll tell you what went wrong. Have you ever been held so tightly that you couldn't breath? Well I have, and that was just a gentle hug.”

“Is that all?” asked Lana.

“It got much worse. He wanted to have a romantic night together. He used his heat vision to light my candles and accidentally set my couch on fire. He tried to blow out the flames and blew all my dishes out of my cabinets. He then tried to pick up all the dishes, but his super strong hands broke them all up. I never realized how super clumsy he could be.”

“My goodness! Clark was never that bad in Smallville. He was always very careful and never caused any damage to anyone.”

“Clark may be fine as a reporter, but he's been a pain in the neck as Superman. I told him that our romance was over. He cried in my house for twenty minutes. He practically flooded my living room. If you want to date Superman, go ahead. I've met a new fellow that I am head over heals for.”

“What's his name?” asked Lana.

“Bruce Wayne,” responded Lois.

Lana chatted for a few more minutes with Lois and then went on her way. Bruce Wayne sure sounds like a fine gentleman. If I were Lois, I'd go bats over him too.