I had lost my husband to Alzheimer's less than a year before and I wasn't coming back very well. Everything reminded me of him and now that Spring was starting it was worse than ever. We had been a very outdoorsy couple and suddenly I had no one to sail with, no one to keep me company on bike trips, no one to help and watch over. Something beautiful would happen and I still needed to tell him about it and share the experience. I had been trying to hold down my job, but the energy just wasn't there and I was doing rather poor work. What to do and how to recover.
Well, I have what is considered by the general population to be a rather bad habit, but at that moment it helped me out. When I'm in a real fix and can't seem to find a solution, I run! I don't mean jog. I mean get out of town and see some new places. So instead of being "practical" I lined up my vacation days and headed out.
Living in Boston is a real pleasure, but it's rather far away from the rest of the country. No matter; I called an old classmate in Tennessee, told her I was going to come for a visit, packed up my bright, blue Mustang and hit the Mass Pike.
Everyone talks about Autumn in New England and for good reason, but the Spring! As you drive along, the trees have their new and fresh leaves, dark green and bursting with life. Beautiful and wild weeds are coming up alongside the road, including Queen Anne's Lace; tall, stately, pure white and very feminine; my favorite. The car is humming underneath you and you begin to feel your shoulders relaxing. The sun is shining, the air smells green and abundant and the birds you've been missing during the long, cold winter have suddenly returned. Then you hit the moment during a long drive when you feel as if you could drive forever. You've left your everyday world behind and you can only see straight ahead into adventure. Well, with a feeling of euphoria or not, I stopped in Virginia the first night because I was exhausted. When I called my friend in Northwestern Tennessee that evening her plans had changed and she wouldn't be home for a few days. Could I find something to do? Of course I could and then I suddenly realized, I was alone.
Why hadn't I noticed this before? I left Boston because I was lonely. What had changed out here in the unknown? And then I realized that I was doing a lot of socializing. I couldn't handle all the travel details myself so I was talking and listening to complete strangers. I needed advice on my car, on where to stay, on what was best to eat in the area, etc.. Everyone was so friendly and helpful and everyone was happy to give me advice. Of course, people love to brag about their own region of the country so I picked up a lot of good information. I'm not sure that would have happened if I hadn't been alone. Women were particularly interested in the fact that I was wandering around by myself. Was I afraid? How did I decide what to do? Isn't it lonely? It was beginning to dawn on me that over the past years I had lost much of my natural independence. And no, it wasn't lonely. I was surrounded by hundreds of friendly people, all anxious to talk and help.
I got up early the next morning, had an enormous and very fattening breakfast, checked the map and continued on my way to Tennessee. Now if I had to name the most beautiful animal in the world, I would probably pick horses. So my general plan was to get to Tennessee and then make my way south into thoroughbred country. I stopped for lunch to check my map and eat another large meal. I confess I used to blame my husband for us overeating on long trips, but evidently it wasn't his fault. Without a whole lot to do I began obsessing about the next meal. I was fast becoming a moveable couch potato. This had to stop! I needed to get to a destination and get outside for some air and a little exercise.
About a half an hour after lunch I dropped down off the freeway, and headed south into what is known as Tennessee Walking Horse country. The area is a relatively small, country setting with rolling green hills, white fences and long, red horse barns. The homes are scattered here and there, surrounded by trees, shaded from the hot summer sun and the chilly winter winds. This particular day could not have been more beautiful; bright sun and the greenest green you can imagine. It looked like a horse's dream. The four lane highway I was on quickly changed to two lanes and I do mean quickly. One minute I had an additional lane next to me and then suddenly there was a little warning sign and BAM!, only one lane. There wasn't a car in sight though so the danger factor was pretty low. I began meandering through little towns, watching my speedometer very carefully because I knew I was surrounded by speed traps.
