This quote was taken from The Notebook.
Many people know how hard it is to find good love. I'm not talking about, butterflies in your stomach, making your heart go pitter patter love. I'm talking about love so great, it makes you shiver. Love so great, you didn't even know you loved the person, until you almost lost them.
My whole life, i spent my time on losers, and guys who knew they looked good, and took advantage of me. We all know what most YOUNG men want, and i figured it out quickly. So I never had an amazing, and pure relationship with anyone before. All I knew was what I was experiencing, and frankly what I was experiencing was no good.
Finally I decided to just give up on trying to find an honest, loving man. It was a bad time in my life... I had lost my job, so I was broke. I was living with my mother still, so there were problems between the two of us. And I really didn't know what my next step would be.
I went to church one morning, wearing the ugliest outfit, but I didn't wash clothes the night before, so I was stuck with this hideous shirt and pants ensemble. Not to mention I wore PINK tennis shoes that didn't even match my outfit. After church, as usual, everyone seperated into little groups and talked amongst themselves. There was a man that was recently new to the church, and i had seen him once at Kroger. Now let me just say, that this isn't the most attractive man on the planet, and he is a bit large. And the biggest deal breaker... he isn't even close to being my type at all. But I took a chance, and tried to start a conversation.
I walk up to him, holding my baby in one arm, and casually said, " I saw you at Kroger a few weeks ago". He looked down at me ( this guy is really tall ) and outstreched his arm to shake my hand, and simply said, " Hi, i'm Jay". I was actually getting all giddy inside, over someone that wasn't my type. Before I left church, he asked me if I was going to the church picnic that was coming up that next week, I took it as a hint of him wanting me to be there.
After that I found myself thinking about him so much, that just a few hours later, I came to the conclusion, that I wanted his number. So I got into the church directory, looked up his name, and gave it another chance! We ended up talking non-stop on the phone that week. And ran up quite a bit of text messages as well. And we went to that church picnic together!
Here is the small downfall. After a few weeks, I started feeling like maybe I didn't want to be with him. I even started feeling a little annoyed by him. So I was going to do what I did best in this situation. Push him away. And it worked, after just a couple of days, he broke up with me. When he broke up with me, I was sitting on my porch, and as soon as he did it, I broke down and started crying. This I just couldn't understand. I got exactly what i wanted, but I felt like I made a mistake. The next morning, I went to church, and as soon as I saw him, I lost it. He looked amazing... unphased by the events from the night before. And I looked like a wreck, trying to stay nice and composed in my seat wasn't working. I really missed him, and not wanted, but NEEDED him back.
I ran after him immediatly after church. We talked for a few minutes in the parking lot, but it was a dramatic conversation, and people were watching, so he told me to get in the car. We made up that day.
Now came the HUGE downfall... after a few months of having a great relationship with eachother, things got a little shakey. Jay and I started to argue a lot, and it was over dumb things that shouldn't even matter. I could just tell things were going bad. And this was heartbreaking, as we had been planning our wedding since a few weeks after we got back together. He broke up with me.
The fault was my own. I didn't pay attention to him like I should have. And I never listened to what he had to say. So a week later, I was back to winning my man over again. That worked as well. To this day we are still together. And I have God to thank for it, but we also have an amazing love.
We love being together, just to be near eachother. And we both learned to listen. We have never actually made love. We want to wait. But at the same time we have made love. We can lay in bed together and just touch eachother. Not even in a sexual way, but in a loving way. And that alone is enough for me. I couldn't imagine life without Jay. In fact today, i sent this quote to him, telling him how i felt, and now i want to share it with you...
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever." - " The Notebook"
