A personal view on how I became a happy woman in love.
I've written a few articles before and in general I've gotten positive responses. I've often gone through the comments left behind and one commenter struck me like a ton of bricks:
"I love him so much and don't want to dump him regardless of the signs... i'd rather have one sided love coming from my end than no love at all"
At first, I thought it was kind of pathetic and sad for a woman to feel this way but then I reconsidered; I haven't always been the strong, independent woman that I am today. I have made my share of mistakes in love and if you had met me in the early nineties I probably would have said/felt the same thing. I had to ask myself, what could have I said to my younger self that would have avoided heartache and pain?
The title of this article says it all, Real Women Don't Take No S***!!
I grew up in a single parent household. My parents died when I was three years old and my grandmother raised me. She wasn't an educated woman or even born in this country; she was born in 1916 in Nicaragua. Despite not even having a firm grasp of the English language, she didn't take NO S***! No man ruled in her life...ever. When she broke her leg one day in front of me, she gave me a long list of instructions before she asked for me to call an ambulance. She was strong every day of her life. If she cried, I never saw it. If she was unsure, I never had a clue.
I didn't start seriously dating until I was in college. I fell for the first good looking guy that paid me any attention. I felt that the man you fall in love with and give your virginity to would be with you forever. I was wrong. I spent two years with a guy who asked me to lie for him, "borrowed" money from me and cheated on me whenever he wanted to. My grandmother was disappointed in my decisions because no matter what he did, it was my decision to be with him.
Real Women Don't Take No S***!!
After I lost my grandmother my choice in boyfriends didn't improve. I've had all kinds: the physically abusive, the mentally retarded, and the just plain crazy. I dated secretly married men and secretly gay men. I've dated physically ugly guys with good hearts and attractive men who where pure evil. I've dated guys where we seemed to hit it off and he just disappeared and I've casually met a guy who wouldn't leave me alone. I even dated a guy that when I saw him again he was panhandling outside of a Starbucks.
I've learned a lesson about love through all of these experiences:
Real Women Don't Take No S***!!
I love who I am. I don't expect to find Mr. Perfect: he doesn't exist. My current boyfriend works my last nerve about a lot of things (just like I must work his last nerve about things too). He is not perfect because I'm not perfect. We just happen to have more in common than not. We both think "Supernatural" has been awesome this season. We both like to the old animated "Transformers" movie. We both love guacamole.
I love being in love. However, there are certain things I won't take from anyone, even if I love them. I don't accept disrespect of any kind. I don't accept infidelity of any kind. I treat my man the way I want to be treated and the minute he goes rouge on me, no matter how deeply I care for him, he has to kick rocks.
Real Women Don't Take No S***!!
I wouldn't trade my experiences, good or bad, for anything. They taught me a valuable lesson about life, love and happiness. I'm lucky to be where I am today. I love me, I respect me. My love is too precious to be wasted on someone who can't/won't give back that love. Because...
