In my past I have ran into some things that do not make any sense at all. When I was younger I had what I thought of as the greatest relationship. We fought all the time, made fun of each other, broke up, got back together, broke up, and got back together, and so on. I guess when you're younger and don't realize that this person you are with probably will not be the love of your life down the road, you tend to do things like that. I use to get all tied up in knots because I thought my life was crappy because this person didn't want to be with me, when all it was, was a good excuse to make someone up set for the day. This seemed to be the pattern till I met the women I am with now.
I guess you could say I am more mature when it comes to relationships, but there are still things that I really have a hard time understanding. I have always wondered why owning thirty-seven pairs of black shoes was really that big of a deal? I only have one, and those are kind of beat up. Another thing is all the damn clothes. I guess I just wonder if you really know what is in your closet. How can you, it all looks the same to me. Then there is the cleaning thing. I know I am a guy and really should just leave this as it is, but why is it that dust on a shelf can turn a person into an extremely pissed off person. I don't really understand it. A civil person can go from “so what would you like to do tonight?” To “look at all of this dust, I can't go anywhere with all this dust.” Meanwhile I am just thinking, not saying just thinking, “Who is going to see it? It's just me and you here, and I don't really give a shit?” That might be something I may never understand.
Another thing I have learned is, there is no perfect relationship. I don't care if you think the relationship you are in right now is totally perfect; it's not, so get use to it. Now that I cleared all that up I feel like I need to address the issue of fighting. I am not talking about little tiffs, I mean all out yelling. I had this couple that once told me they never fight. After watching them for a while I realized, their right, they don't fight and about 3 months later when they couldn't stand the sight of each other, I was asked by them to analyze their relationship in hopes that I could find the reason they were so upset with each other, how ironic I thought.
I also have a thought that teenagers and even people in their early twenties have this big misconception that love is just a word that needs to be said to get a little action. That is not it at all. When you tell someone you love them, you better mean it, if not there could be some parts missing when you wake up the next morning. But in all honesty, love is great. I get asked the same question all the time “what does it feel like to be in love?” I tend to give this type of answer, “it just feels normal” but what I have noticed is that it is not that normal. Becoming stupid for someone is kind of cool. I mean you know when you get to that point where you would do just about anything for that person including standing outside butt naked in the middle of a snow storm on the North Pole. Yea, I've never felt that way either, but that would really suck. Relationships are really tricky, you have to watch what you are saying at certain times, listen really well, and not watch sports all the time. This is some serious stuff. In all reality I joke around about changing everything about you, but that is not what it is all about. It's more like finding someone that will put up with all of your crap, and still love you that way.
Everyone has some sort of quirk that makes him or her unique. What I don't understand is most of the women I have dated have expected me to change in one-way or another. I am just not like that, I am who I am like it or not. You shouldn't go into any relationship thinking you can change the person so the little things that bother you won't anymore. The reality of it is, if you can't deal with what they do now, you won't be able to do it in 30 years. I guess that is how I have looked at it. If there were something that really bothered me I would just ask myself if I could deal with it. I would look down the road and see if the problem was something I could just let slide or something that is going to drive me nuts. That would tell me if I would want to spend more time with this girl or if I need to seek other avenues. Up until a few years ago, every one of the girlfriends I had, had something that drove me nuts. And its not anything major like the girl was a serial killer, it was stupid little things like the way they said a certain word, or the way they whined, or talked like a little kid when they really wanted something. I know its not that big of deal to most people, but it fricken drove me crazy.
Then there are always those “quickie” relationships. You know the ones that last about 26 minutes and you can't really remember her name. I can't say as though these are high points in anyone's life, but there is sometimes that I just don't really remember what happened. You know the drill, your sitting at a party and there is a girl that you think is damn fine looking. You have had about fifteen beers and you're not seeing things through rational thought, but you think to yourself “well there's a live one, maybe I could just go up and say hi and see what happens.” One thing leads to another and there you are telling this poor soul that you have spent the last few years looking for a girl like her. After that things get a little fuzzy, and you wake up in the morning lying on the front lawn next to some girl's underwear. I always thought that was a good sign when you woke up like that. I have a firm belief that something good had to happen if some girls' underwear was sitting next to you. Then there is the reality of it all when your friends tell you that that pair of underwear was involved in the game of strip poker they were playing at someone else's house and they thought it would be funny if they threw them at you when they saw you passed out on the front law. I often wonder what happen to those girls that I talked to. My theory is that they all of a sudden were sucked up into space when the god's found out I was about to have a good time.
