As a fifty year old man in the process of being divorced after almost thirty years of marriage, adjusting to a new lifestyle is not very easy or comfortable. I am deeply hurt and not really sure how well I am dealing with the reality of total rejection by the love of my life.
We still have a wonderful son at home and I think he deserves to stay in his home, so I moved out into an apartment. I haven't lived alone or in an apartment since I was in college. I am living with the bare necessities as far as furniture and dishes and the like, so in a way, I feel like I am camping out. Almost like an adventure.
So, I am living along and I have been very reluctant to socialize keeping very much to myself. Having grown up in a large family and having three children of my own, being alone all of the time is an adjustment. And not one I am handling very well at the moment.
But as I have discovered even if you want to live in a vacuum, it is almost impossible to accomplish. Several weeks ago, the lady living in the apartment below stopped me as we entered the building and introduced herself to me and we made pleasant and I proceeded to go upstairs to my apartment and get on with my evening. I didn't think anything about it, then or for the next several days. Several weeks passed and I would see her coming or going and I would wave and say hello. Nothing more. Then one Saturday afternoon I was coming in from exercising and was quite hot and sweaty and she met me as I entered the courtyard of our building. She asked me if I could help her rearrange her furniture. I didn't really know what to say, so I said sure.
So sure enough I go in her apartment with her and she walks into her bedroom where her king sized bed was disassembled. Box springs and mattress leaning up against the walls, and her other furniture was in another bedroom. She explained that there had been a leak and the carpet had been replaced. So, I spent thirty minutes assembling her bed. It just felt really strange. But, she was really thankful and promised to return the favor. So I said great and wet home to clean up and relax.
The following weekend we had some terrible weather and the power was out all over town for several days. On that Sunday, we met entering the courtyard again, exchanged small talk and then she asked me if I wanted to watch a couple of movies with her that evening. I didn't really know what to say, so I tried to sidestep the issue by announcing the obvious, "We can't do that, the power is out!" With a great big grin she said, "Yes we can, I brought my laptop from work with two extra batteries." I must have turned purple, because it just dawned on me what had been going on for weeks. I fashioned another and more clumsy excuse and sprinted back up the stairs almost going into hiding. I wasn't ready for this yet.
As I am taking out the trash the next morning we passed and I said how miserably hot it had been last night without the air conditioning and she said, " You can sleep down here in my apartment tonight, it's much cooler downstairs." And I said no thanks I was going to my son's home tonight, they never lost their power. Really, I wasn't, but it sounded great.
At this point I realized several things had changed since I was last in the "available" population. Middle aged single women are not bashful. And, middle aged single men must be in greater demand than I ever imagined.
Not a week goes by that my sweet downstairs neighbor fails to make some form of an invitation or overture. It really is sweet and flattering, but I am just not ready for any form of relationship yet. Hopefully, one day I will be and can take her up on her offers.
