I think you should be your kids friend. When they turn 18 then I can decide at that time if I want to continue as there friend. It hit me one day. I got up late and was running around the house getting ready for work. I ask my 18 year old that was laying on the couch to do me a favor and take her little sister to school. She said”No”. The time I got back from taking her to school myself, I had 15 minutes to dry and fix my hair, put make-up on , get dressed and out the door for work. Oh, did I forget to mention that the 18 year old has no job. As I ran out the door I said to her, "Clean or get moved out. Don't call me for anything unless I have to know. I ain't your friend cause my friends don't treat me that way”. I have always taught my kids to treat people as you want to be treated in return.
Now the house is like, let's make a deal. You need me to, what? Well I need you to. . . Anytime they need me I am there for them. When I need them they feel the need to return the favor and be there for me. Teach by example. Kid's don't always listen. Show them and they will remember it better. My kid's hear blah blah blah when I talk at times. How do I know this? After telling my daughter a story and I didn't feel she was listening, call it her body language, so I asked her some questions about what I just told her. She had a blank look on her face and couldn't answer a single question. I am a firm beleiver on the blah blah blah theory. Talk and interact with you kids on the same level you would talk to your friend's. Girl talk is always better then a seminar. How are you even thinking that your kids will come to you about what's bothering them if you aren't their friend. Parents are judge mental. So why would I tell them anything that might get me judged. Parents should judge the act not the child. Once you judge them odds are you will be left in the dark and lied to. Be their friend but also draw a line.
