Cultural and Geographical History of Poig
The island of Poig (pronounced like a cross between pig and doig {which is pronounced like a cross between duck and roig} [which is pronounced like a cross between rig and Poig]), glad we got that cleared up.
Poig is a volcanic island that has never been discovered by the rest of the world, the Americans are too busy munching hamburgers and the Chinese are too busy creating robots to explore a patch of the Atlantic Ocean called "The Yund". Of course the world wouldn't know that its called the Yund because they don't even know it exists, so it would be silly, or to use a more la-di-dah synonym, and inane to expect them to know the name of an island completely off the archipelago.
Charles Darwin had an idea: Evolution. The people scoffed and mocked his musings so he went far and wide to discover proof that evolution isn't just something he had thought off after swilling a couple flagons off "Olde Father Sprig"s Finest Blackberry Ale' and doing the fandango with a lovely (or "porkable" as the youngsters say knower days) lady from luton (who wanted to buy a futon, she looked high and low, did the fandango, then went home to luton).
Evolution had happened on a wild scale on Poig, the volcanic soil and tropical storms had shaped the inhabitants into hardy creatures who were used to hurricanes and the like. Poig was divided into 4 areas or provinces or territories, depends on your sense of humour. The first area a traveler, even though their has never been one, would come to if coming in from the north would be Baja, a mountainous rocky place where everything is tinged with the colour white, the fish (any adventurers might want to stop and admire the raw beauty of the Giis Shark, though make sure you avoid the razor sharp teeth and gaping maw, or they might not) swim upstream from the sea and are faced with one choice swim or die. On a lighter note the area of Baja could be a great ski-ing destination, though the locals might think you were trying to sleep with their wives or steal their Hong Goats. Hong Goats are exclusive(and for a limited time only purchase a Hong Goat and get a XXXX absolutely free!) to Baja and wander the sloaps of the great mountain ranges that form an edge onto the sea. Baja is bitingly cold and can plummet down to 78^ (-2C) when someone has stopped pissing on the thermo-meter, BUGGER OFF. Few plants or trees grow, but Kiju Monkeys live there which has always been a bit of a mystery(some people with glasses and an absence of get-up-and-go have been pondering this for many days, you know strokey beard, twiddly thumbs , scratchy temple, that sort of thing) and they can only assume that the Kiju's have evolved( Darwin take a team point) into cannibals.
The Easterly region of Poig is known as Hhhu, its climate is very non-committal, like that person in primary school who could never decide whether to play pogs or pokemon. Its name emphasizes the sort of "I dunno" feeling that surrounds Hhhu, the namer thought " It will begin with H, then I will add another h because that is cool and groovy but I dunno about another h, maybe, I dunno, maybe, I dunno[ GET ON WITH IT!] okay don"t get your knickers in a twist h it is, I need a vowel but I dunno maybe another h would be hip, or a different consonant, maybe j [DON'T BE BLOODY STUPID] all right blinking hell, I'll add a u, or maybe an I,I dunno an o would be good[IF YOU DON'T MAKE THE NAME IN 5 SECONDS IM GOING TO RIP YOUR VOICEBOX OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND SELL IT TO A JIGGER] okay, Hhhu,but I dunno it sounds a bit Hhhuey to me'. The climate of Hhhu reflects this nature: it's got trees, but not many, its got lakes, a respectable amount and its got hills, not too high not too low. It was always just roasty in Hhhu and it usually rained a bit. The animals of Hhhu refuse to make decisions: a Cyma Lion cant decide whether too eat the Foog Wildebeest now or take it back to the family, a Niff Crab is torn between crabbing around or going out in search for his crabby destiny, a Zaok Trout is in two minds whether too turn right up to the lake or keep going to the sea.
The Western province is called Deet and it is here where most of the farming and agriculture takes place. Deet is akin to a spiders web, every town is linked, this is because most of the volcanoes are in Deet and the people need to be able to get from Aaaa( where the volcano is erupting) to Bbbb (to where everyone is as snug as a bug in a rug). The Deetan climate is that off jagged peaks falling into vast dry plains, with very few rivers or lakes. When Deet is not being hit by volcanoes it is an extremely fertile place, the dry planes are teeming with plants and flowers and the creatures are pretty chuffed with it all really. So chuffed that they would rather not tell their mate over in Hhhu off the tropical paradise of Deet or the particularly smashing species of Swede that grows there.
