On the whole I'm happy with who I am. As a British size 18, most of my friends think I'm about a size 12 ... until the summer. Then there is nowhere for my flab to hide and I am undone.
Summer can be a time we dread When we, with skin too white or red See all those girls with pouting lips, Much smoother thighs and slimmer hips Who, smug and lycra-clad, glide by While girls like me can only sigh And then renew with all our might That ongoing war with cellulite. I try to loose each pound I gain That I might yet be slim again Most often, starting with a craze For exercise, which lasts some days But as the time wears slowly on My strong resolve is soon all gone For though I always am at pains To run about, my weight remains The same. Or, Ill start weighing more Than I have ever done before. Its muscle under there, you know Not long and itll start to show. Some tell me. Others look aghast As stolidly I wobble past. Oh how I wish one day Ill pinch And there will only be an inch I say dejectedly and grab Another foot or so of flab As forcefully I remonstrate And wave it round to demonstrate.... Perhaps theyre right and Id grow slim But Im no natural at the gym And all the skinny people stare And wonder what Im doing there. An instant fix is not obtained And all their gawping leaves me drained... Its difficult, cause girls like that Would make a mannequin look fat. These ladies want to look, it seems, Just like the ones in magazines. Stretched photos, glossed with airbrush inks And tans made up with darker tints Set standards I will never meet No normal person could and eat. They say the camera never lies But certainly, it blurs its eyes And those of us who think were fat Could often well remember that. So, if youre 5ft 6 like me But think you should weigh 8 stone 3 And starve yourself as like as not Yet with it, exercise a lot And worry when youre all alone Cause still you seem to weigh nine stone Forget this mad insanity. Stop pandering to vanity Youre really better off by far Enjoying life the way you are.
