So Christ came down from his heavy perch way up there on the cross one fine day and decided that he would lighten his role and give up his former life as a carpenter and a maker of men's souls, and do something really practical. Of course he had the usual insecurities that people have with changing jobs, but on review of his former life, he felt reasonably assured that he could again make his mark in this new mundane world. He searched the Dictionary of Occupational Titles and settled on " bus driver." Everyone in those days was going out to Seattle so he took his wounds and all the sins of man up to Seattle and was interviewed for the job. "Mr. Jesus, could you tell me why you want this job please," asked the personnel manager, Marge Carrol.
Jesus searched the scriptures and said, "It is easier for a rich man to go through the head of a needle than to get into heaven." "And have you ever had a speeding ticket?" asked Marge. "NO answered Jesus but once going to Jerusalem I passed I passed two hectors when riding a white donkey ."
Marge began to laugh and looked into the blue warmth of Jesus's eyes and said to him with as much love as he showed her, "You have a wonderful sense of humor, Jesus." "And you have faithfully followed the scriptures and understand the basic message of love." And so as it was written so many years ago, Jesus returned to earth. No one thought he would be driving a Greyhound bus from Seattle to Vancouver. His very first trip had an international group of passengers. Most were going to take the short run to Vancouver because it was three and one half hours away and they wanted to see British Columbia's most famous city that had a multi cultural and multi ethnicity plus the Grouse mountains to the north as a backdrop.
And Jesus said, "Welcome aboard bus number three which goes well with the idea of the trinity. We will be arriving in Vancouver in about three and one half-hours and there is a declaration form that must be filled out. We will be stopping at the border, which is a term that distinctly separates nations. So render to Caesar what is Caesar's and have your passports ready." He especially looked at each passenger as he recited these words and the people looked at him with attentiveness as if each word was a parable to decipher. Boarding the bus was a woman who was known as Mary and was traveling with a small Hispanic man named John and a young boy about seven years old. The man who was carrying a sack that was tied with a rope and Mary held the boy's hand and carried a small beat up valise held together with a string wound up at the center of the worn handle. She often would drop the boy's hand to smooth down the short dress which creped over her knees. She directed the boy to go ahead as she entered the bus and then laid a heavy hand on his shoulder for support as the group of three marched single file through the narrow aisle to the back.
Jesus said to her as she passed, "Blessed be yea the poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. And Jesus went to the back of the bus where they were and he said "Whoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: There is no need to hurry for you will arrive safely at your destination and that yea are in my hands now. Besides those that are last will be first and just because I said that I don't want everyone to go to the back of the bus. Is that clear?"
"What a strange bus driver," commented Mary to her companion John. John answered " Sí he appears to be very religious." A stooped Chinese woman then entered the bus and she asked meakly if the bus went to Vancouver in a sing song manner. And Jesus answered "Yea are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid." And the old Chinese woman cocked her head and thought to herself that she would never learn this language no matter how long she lived in the United States. And than Jesus answered in her native tongue "Nee how" and she smiled at him and pulled her heavy pocket book before her as she pushed her sandaled feet scoffing the metal floor beneath her. The German couple at the front of the bus spoke in hushed tones as the short Chinese woman already stooped slid into a seat adjoing them. But the heavy guttural sounds reverberated through out the bus. "Heil."
Finally, a woman who was very overly dressed jumped up the stairs and asked Jesus if she were on the right bus. He looked into her eyes for what seemed to be a full minute- as if he were reading into her soul. She was accompanied by another person who seemed older and was dressed more conservatively, carrying a briefcase. "Heavens' man didn't you hear her ask you about this bus?" asked the man with her. Jesus answered, "Heaven I know that place but unfortunately it is not a stop between Seattle and Vancouver. But I say unto you, Swear not at all: Neither by heaven; for it is God's throne." And then turning to the woman said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement." Both the woman and the man looked at each other because no one bothered with divorces or even about children, in the 1990's and quickly found a seat.
And Jesus continued "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? In both your cases I don't think that holds true. I would be surprised if you ever had a thought. So be yea therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. You both are obviously are going to go the wrong way. And whosoever shall compel you go a mile, go with him twain. All aboard even those that don't belong," were his last words before closing the doors of the bus, and with a shift of the gears the bus turned out of the station toward the highway 5 North. Just before leaving the station an effeminate young man with long hair raced along the bus and shouted, "Wait." Jesus opened the door. The affected man moved his hips back and forth brushed his hand through his hair and in a high falsetto voice shouted, "God I thought you would never stop!" Jesus replied, "You got the God part right but let your communication be, Yea yea or Nay nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." " What did ya say?" Jesus replied "Nay, I mean OK. "The light of the body is the eye: If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, the whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness. Or if that isn't clear lights out." "What?" retorted the young man blinking as the lights went out in the bus compartment.
Jesus in a whisper as if only the man could hear, "If you think you need a transfer get one. But I say unto you. Love your enemies; bless them that curse you. Do good to them that hate you and pray on them which despitefully use you and persecute you:" The young man sat and slouched in his seat. His actions immediately became subdued and the bus propelled forward toward its highway destination. "We will be making a brief rest stop ahead. There is free coffee provided by the union of bus drivers. We will be leaving within ten minutes of the allotted time. But thou when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face." All the people on the bus looked at each other except no one would look at the affected man. The old Chinese woman who kept saying to herself he knows how to speak so well. He could recite straight from the poetry of Lao Tse. And she repeated in her small voice out loud "If you wish to find happiness you need not be in a hurry." And Jesus heard the small voice and looked in the mirror and smiled answering "Che Che but remember take no thought of the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. If you're having trouble with that one just think of the rest stop ahead."
The rich man descended the bus at the rest stop. He looked worried and kept looking at the driver Jesus over his shoulder and Jesus said to him from a voice which seemed to carry to his ears alone, "But that yea may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins. And believe me I need a calculator for yours." Both he and the woman walked over to the man who was delivering coffee and asked, " Have you ever worked with the bus driver before?" "No" responded the server; "He seems to be new." "Well I think you should know that he is acting very strange and I suppose it would be good if you were to report that to your company and union." "How is he strange asked the union person?" "Well said the rich man he seems to be talking to himself a lot and keeps quoting from the bible." "If that's your complaint your a lucky man. Most of the drivers I know talk to themselves and what they have to say isn't so pretty but it sure wakes you up. Your lucky he doesn't sing."
As the rich couple boarded the bus Jesus said, to the people on the bus, "For by thy words thou shall be justified and by thy words thou shallot be condemned." And he continued as the others stepped up the three steps onto the bus "Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given. So step lively for some more advice to the damned." And the bus moved along through farms and dales. And the flowers were splendid in their majesty. And the Lord Jesus sang in a voice that was heard by all especially loud in the ears of the rich couple. "And I say to you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so cloth the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven shall he not much clothe you, O yea of little faith. Just in case you didn't get it I'm talking to you two. Jesus turned around and the rich couple gasped. The German couple struggling to understand the English words repeated the word love in their native language liebe.
And Christ said to the multitude as they came to the border. "When yea pray, say Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name. For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. So here we are at the border I hope you haven't covered anything. Make sure your declaration cards are available. John came neither eating nor drinking and they say he had a devil, so if you have any fruit or vegetables eat them." And the line of passengers was divided into two after the first cursory questioning. The couple with the child, the German couple, the Chinese person and the rich couple made up the detainee line. There was a burly red faced Canadian official that repeatedly asked the Hispanic man for identification, which he could not provide. "Sí señior I came from the States." John stood in front of the official with his hat grasped in his hands at his waist. Señior I am traveling with this here my woman and this here my son and we come along way to visit here Canada and freedom." "Can the this here stuff and get to the how how stuff. How long are you planning to stay?" asked the official in a vociferous voice. And Jesus said as he walked into the room "Ask and it shall be given." And John dropped to his knees and he said " My father who art in heaven." And the official said, " We have a real one here." Next."
The German couple was asked the usual questions except for the last one that the big burley uniformed person asked in his officious style "Where were you during the war and where is your airline ticket for departure to Germany?" "But the ticket is considered cash is it not?" replied the young German. I left it with a friend of mine back in the states can you not be merciful barmherzig. And Jesus went to the official and grasped his shoulder. And he said,"Yea judge after the flesh; I judge no man." The official said turning to Jesus you know the rules stay out of this." And Jesus said and it is written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true. I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me. By my count that makes three. So if you have any regard for numbers you will think twice very carefully before you play any one of these three in lotto. Is that clear! "Who are you?" asked the official. "Yea neither know me, nor my father: If yea had known me, yea should have known my Father also. And don't you dear ask about my mother or my twelve unemployed friends. We are not talking relationships now! I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep and if your not one I'll eat my crown of thrones."
The official with trepidation in his voice answered, "Well if you can vouch for the man I guess it's all right." The next person that the border guard confronted was the Chinese woman who looked at the Border guard and graciously bowed. "My ancestors they built the railroads of the two great countries that I visit. I submit my papers to you. The border guard said after a lengthy study,"But these papers have expired my dear woman and we cannot allow you to enter our country." "Dear Sir, my husband he waits for me at the bus station at Vancouver or is it at the suburb of Vancouver? Please be so kind to be patient with my papers. For the Tao says that a plant that grows deep in the earth cannot be uprooted." So don't water for two or three days. And Jesus said to the guard: "Judge not, and yea shall not be judged: Condemn not, and yea shall not be condemned: forgive and yea shall be forgiven:" If you don't understand that we can get you a lawyer to make it more complicated. And Jesus looked into the eyes of the frightened woman and continued "Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole: go in peace."
So the older woman looked over her shoulder looking for her daughter. As she passed the guard the rich couple appeared before the guard, who said we know you have committed an embezzlement of money and we will send you back to be judged by your country. This is not your wife that is accompanying you and you have lied to the authorities. And Jesus said to the rich couple "It is written that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.
Nameste and have a nice day.