There I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting to find out if I was pregnant or not. I had sat in the very same seat a month before when I was there to find out whether my best friend was pregnant or not. She was and they made her choose right away whether she was going to keep the baby or not. She chose to abort. Going through that with her made my ultimate decision that much easier.
I think I better tell you the circumstances I was in at that time. The year was 1995 and I was in the last grade of high school picking up some media classes because I finally decided that I was going to go to college for Broadcasting. I had just turned twenty the month before and I was in my first serious relationship. (He was the guy I fell in love with the first day of high school.) I was a virgin at the time I started going out with my boyfriend three months prior. Losing my virginity to him wasn't something I even thought about because I had loved him with all my soul. I honestly thought we would be together forever.
A couple of days before I ended up in the doctor's office I had visited the private college in the states that I had been accepted into. It was my ultimate dream there. Nevertheless, I knew that I wouldn't probably be able to attend the college because I knew I was probably pregnant. On the way home from the college in the plane I puked. I knew it was the beginning of my morning sickness.
Sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the moment that the nurse would tell me my fate so many things went through my head. It could be the beginning of a beautiful life for my boyfriend and me. Or it could be the end of the world because the college I had just visited was just what I wanted. There was one thing that never faltered in my mind was the fate of my baby.
The nurse came up to me, put one hand on my shoulder and whispered, “It's positive.”
I'll never forget that moment. The first thing I did was smile and then I started crying. I didn't stop crying for two week after that. I knew life wouldn't be easy for me from that moment on. I thought I would get married to my boyfriend and we would live happily ever after. The baby would be ours to have and to hold forever.
Things didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped though. After telling my mom and surviving (she didn't kill me). I finished high school. We got married when I was six months pregnant. The baby was a week late and I had to be induced. After being in labor for four hours and being told that the baby wasn't going to make it, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Things got rocky after that. She cried and cried. I even wanted to give her up for adoption because I thought we weren't meeting her needs. My husband said no way. We struggled for our meals everyday. I was never quite sure the next time I would eat a full meal. I was nursing and all I seemed to eat was grilled cheese sandwiches. We lived in an apartment that was so cold and every time it snowed there would be snowdrifts in the apartment with us.
After two years I couldn't handle that life anymore and left with our daughter for good.
Life is much better for the both of us now. I have a new husband and my daughter has a new brother… Life is good now….
