“Sorry about that too,” Emily blushed.
“That's okay. You first wore condoms every single time and then when you became more active, you went to Mom and got on the pill. You've stayed in school and you're two years from graduating. Despite your flaws, you're a smart, funny and obviously sexy sister,” Daniel smiled and took his sister's hand. “Come on, Mom wants to show you her new boyfriend.” Daniel and Emily walked out of the room into the hallway. “This is the oddest wake I've ever been to.”
Emily headed toward Norma and Burt while Daniel heard a commotion coming from his father.
“I've been talking to a faggot this whole time?” he shouted, which caused several people to turn their heads.
“Stephen, please, people are staring,” Virginia tried to calm him down.
“I don't care! I want everyone here to know that this young man is a panty-waist fag,” Stephen pointed at Chris.
“Dad?” Daniel came up to them. “What's going on?”
“Did you know that your cousin is a man-loving homo?” Stephen asked his son.
“Yes. He told me a couple months ago,” Daniel admitted.
“What? He told you before he told his own uncle?” Stephen glared at Chris and Arnold. “Why didn't you tell me this, queer?"
“Probably because he knew you'd act like this,” Daniel said.
“Act like what?” Stephen yelled.
“You're calling him a fag and a homo. And you're yelling. People are staring,” Daniel said in a quiet voice near his father's ear.
“Let them stare! I got a homo for a nephew!” Stephen yelled one last time and stormed away.
“I'm sorry about him Chris,” Daniel apologized.
“That's okay, Danny. I knew Uncle Linus and Uncle Stephen would be the hardest to talk to about this. At least Linus was drunk when I told him,” Arnold said.
“I'll talk to him. Get him to apologize to you,” Daniel said and began to walk away.
“You don't have to do that Danny,” Chris said.
No, I want to.” Daniel walked over to his father who was standing near the casket. “Dad, I want you to apologize to Chris."
“And I want him to stop being a homo."
“He just can't stop being gay Dad,” said Daniel.
“I swear, it's like everyone is turning into a fag,” Stephen muttered under his breath and turned toward his dead father lying in the casket. “Things were a lot easier back when I was your age. We didn't have any homosexuals then.”
“Homosexuals are not a new invention. There have been homosexuals since the dawn of time. The Greeks, Shakespearian theatre, Rock Hudson…” Daniel listed.
“Rock Hudson. I think a gay-defense group paid him to be a queer,” Stephen said.
“Yes, Dad, GLAAD paid Rock Hudson to admit he's gay and infected him with AIDS, I'm sure that's what happened,” Daniel smiled.
Stephen muttered something under his breath and got closer to his father. “What the hell?” he suddenly growled.
“What's wrong, Dad?” Daniel asked.
“This son of a bitch is being buried with the watch,” Stephen said pointing to a gorgeous silver watch on Grandpa Judge's right wrist.
“It's his watch. He can be buried with it if he wants,” Daniel said.
“But he promised it to me!”
“I'll asked Grandma about it,” Daniel began to walk off but Stephen grabbed his shoulder.
“Wait. Cover me. I'll just take it now.”
“I'm not gonna stand guard while you steal a watch from a dead man!” Daniel objected.
“It's not stealing if he promised it to me,” Stephen said starting to try to undo the watch from his father's wrist. Daniel began pulling at Stephen's arm to get him to stop.
“Hey, what the hell is going on here?” Linus asked coming over to the casket. He peered inside and saw his brother trying to remove the silver watch from their father's wrist. “That son of a bitch promised me that watch!” Linus began pulled at the watch which angered Stephen more.
“Let go! He promised it to me first!” Stephen said.
“But I'm older!” Linus defended.
