The Gold Watch

Can you see me? That's me, lying on the concrete. Funny! I thought people would rush out of their front doors to see me. But nobody seems bothered apart from those kids. At least I stopped them playing ball.

I'm lying here now and I don't know why I did it. I don't even know how I am talking to you. Is it my voice you hear? Or is this going straight onto the page or into a magazine? I know I'm communicating with someone somewhere; it might even be going straight onto somebody's computer screen.

Computers and mobile phones - the wonder of the age; all those exciting people sitting on the trains or in Starbucks with their lap tops: I saw one the other day; he was sitting in Starbucks with the thing on his lap. Then he stopped typing and looked up with his mouth open; I thought he was dead; his eyes were staring at my newspaper so I moved it slightly to see if he really was looking at it as I moved it his eyes just starred straight ahead to where it had been; his mouth was still gaping and I thought something had happened to him; then something must have ignited inside him and he started typing again.

As I walked out I looked over his shoulder to see what he was doing and all I could see was the word "complaints." I thought about it later and realized that he probably never stops work; starts again when he gets home. Why does he bother with the journey?

I saw a film once when a dead body talked to the audience; just like I'm doing now. It was "Sunset Boulevard:" William Holden played a screenwriter who was shot by Gloria Swanson and lay in a Beverly Hills swimming pool face down talking to the audience in voice over whilst the fire department and the police tried to fish him out.

I thought I would be lying face downwards; it's my fault; when I jumped I should have dived head first and then I would have been face down; I wasn't even sure if I would hit the concrete or the grass - or what's left of the grass.

I didn't actually aim for anything; as soon as I reached the top floor I more or less leapfrogged over the side. If I'd have thought about it I wouldn't have done it at all.

I wish I hadn't done it now.

Oh no! Here comes a dog. I hope he doesn't . . . it's OK somebody

has sent him away; it is a "he" I can see that very well from down here.

I wonder what I look like. It didn't hurt; the funny thing was - on the way up I went past a few kids sitting on the stairs. Why they wanted to sit there is beyond me; maybe they were dealing in drugs? I don't know but they actually frightened me; I thought they would try and mug me or something; it's strange that I should be scared of them when I was contemplating the ultimate act.

The first thing I noticed about the apartment building was the stink; I don't know what it was: shit, piss; who knows but it wasn't very pleasant. Why those kids would want to hang around on those stairs in that smell is beyond me.

I had passed this building many times; often wondered what kind of people lived here; still do; nobody has come out yet; why don't these kids tell the grown ups what has happened? At least someone might cover me up.

When I landed my feet, or legs, must have been pushed up through my body making me three feet tall - ha ha! But there was no pain.

I was talking to a man earlier: I was trying to walk along the street and he stopped me; wanted to talk; well, not talk, he wanted to complain. Complain about everything; he told me he was eighty three and had a false leg; he said he knew somebody else who had two false legs and I wanted to ask him if his friend had the height on his passport with or without legs; it would be funny to go into another country and your passport reads "height: three feet" and there you are standing at a normal height.

I think there's a bit of movement from one of the apartments; yes one of the kids has knocked a door and pointed me out to them; the woman went back in again; maybe to use the phone.

It's very quiet; I'm surprised at that; it may because I'm not used to it yet; it might be like buying a stereo and learning how to control the sound. I didn't even think I'd be able to communicate but I'm communicating with you! I know I am communicating because I feel it I just don't know who you are.