It was a late rainy Saturday evening in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Rev. Matthew Payne, a twenty-one
Year old pastor was sitting in front of his computer. He had finished his sermon for Sunday morning, and
Now, he was working on a letter of resignation from his congregation. He had only been at the church for
Over a year. Now it was time for him to leave and to move on. He was resigning because of some personal
Problems that had come up during his ministry. All he had wanted to do was serve as a pastor. He came to
Realize that he was no longer fit to hold the office of pastor. He felt that he had no other choice but to
resign.
Matthew worried about his small church. This was something that they did not need to happen.
They had been through enough with the pastors that had served before him. And now for this to
Happen. Yet, if he were to stay, he would certainly have divided the congregation . It was not his
Desire to cause division within the church, or to hurt anyone.
Matthew looked at the clock on the desk. It was getting late. He was almost done with the first
Draft of the letter. As he read over it; he decided to keep the letter short and to the point. He
Would read the letter after the morning service. He would not go into any great detail as to why
He was leaving, he figured that enough people knew why anyway.
It is not uncommon for ministers to leave the ministry for different reasons. Matthew felt
That with all that had taken place in the last year, he had no choice but to leave. He wondered if his
Life would have been much easier if he had chosen another profession other than then the ministry.
As Matthew stared at the almost finished letter, the question kept coming back to him;” What lead
Up to all of this?” How could he have lost sight of his goal to serve as a pastor Why did he
Allow himself to get into this position?
Matthew got up from the computer; it was time to take a break. He made himself a cup of
Coffee, then sat down in his semi-dark study. There in the darkness, he thought about the
Past events that had lead up to this moment in his life. Matthew let his mind flash back to the
Past and on the part that he played in it.
Matthew was like any young pastor when he left the seminary. He was on fire to serve the Lord,.
He had to goal to be a pastor and preach the Gospel. It had been a grueling eight years of preparation.
He had endured four years of college and he completed four years of seminary. Matthew was glad to
Be done with it all. Life at the seminary had not been without it's share of heartache and pain.
Even though Matthew attended a Christian school , he found it to be a rumor-mill
Like any other place. The rumors could be both cruel and baseless. He had taken enough
Teasing for not being married nor engaged. There was an unwritten custom that students who
Returned from their year long internship were either married or engaged . Matthew had served
His internship in his hometown of St. Louis Missouri. It had been a quiet year, and Matthew had
Returned to the seminary neither married nor engaged.
There had been a rumor going around the campus that Matthew and his room mate David
Were lovers. How this rumor got started surprised both men. They didn't know how this got
Started . This was hurtful to both men. David said nothing. He would neither confirm nor
Deny the relationship. The pressure did get to David. He did not stay to finish out his last year..
Matthew tried to ignore the whole thing, but the more that he thought about it, the more angry
He got. Much like David, Matthew would neither deny or confirm the rumor. Matthew did not
Leave the seminary, he stayed and finished out the school year.
Matthew was soon called in to see the Dean of students. Dean Roger Miller had also heard the
Rumors as well. He wanted to look into the matter to see if there was any truth to what people were
Saying. The Dean wanted to give Matthew a fair hearing in the matter. Dean Miller asked Matthew
If there had ever been a sexual relationship between him and David Ball. Matthew quickly said, “No.”
Matthew hadn't been totally honest wit the Dean. There had been a brief sexual encounter between
Him and David Ball. It had ended long before the rumor had made it's way around the campus.
