I waited anxiously for the results to show up. Having just urinated on the pregnancy test, it would tell me the ultimate fate. I didn't want to have a kid, not now anyway. All the other tests that I had taken over the years were always negative, as I hoped this one would be too.
The results showed two lines and I became instantly angry. Not that it wasn't my fault, but it was definitely more his fault.
I came storming out of the bathroom of our two-hundred and fifty square foot studio apartment and threw the pregnancy test at my boyfriend's head.
"Look what you did!" I yelled.
He didn't even flinch as the test flew passed him. He was playing his play station video game on the television and while he tapped the buttons on the hand controllers he said, "What does it say?"
"Just look at it." I retorted and crossed my arms.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" His eyes didn't move from the TV screen as he smiled from ear to ear.
"This is all your fault." I stated bitterly.
All my boyfriend did was smile as he kept playing. At least one of us was happy about this. This was his second child and my first. He was calling it a blessing and I was calling it a curse. Before we even got pregnant, I told him my three rules about kids, "They're not fun, they're not cute, and they keep you up all night." He would retort with jest, "They are fun, they are cute, and they keep you up all night."
I didn't believe this pregnancy test, so I bought another one the next day. Damn, it was positive, too. Then I decided to go to Planned Parenthood, because obviously the two tests had lied to me. I was so nervous at their office that I couldn't go pee for 30 minutes. Finally the stream came and their test told me that I was pregnant. They said I was due on October 31st. What? Due on the 31st? Why couldn't they understand that I wasn't pregnant? Then they tell me that they only do abortions and since I'm going to keep it I have to see a different doctor. I check the doctor on my insurance card and it was a male. Well, I don't want some guy poking and prodding his way inside of me, so I call up the closest female doctor I can find and go to her.
When I go to this female doctor's office they tell me to pee in another cup, then the doctor comes in and tells me that I'm pregnant and that she doesn't deal with pregnant ladies (as if they are a curse) and refers me to an OBGYN doctor. So I go to the OBGYN clinic and I'm told to urinate in a cup and then I'm told that I'm pregnant. About this time I think I'm around three and a half months along
and I think I am finally believing that I'm with child, but still not one hundred percent sure. Oh, I'm not having my period, or anything, but being pregnant is
just not part of my reality. However I did start taking vitamins and I quit smoking and drinking, just in case I was really going to have a baby.
My boyfriend starting telling his family the first week that we knew and they were pretty happy about it. I didn't tell anyone until my boyfriend forced me to about the two-month mark. He was kind of sad that I wasn't bragging it all over the place, like he was, but it was not a blessing to me. I told my mom and the first thing she asked was if I was going to keep it, same thing with my sister, when I told her. They looked at it as being a curse especially at this point in my life.
I had just gotten into my career. I was a teacher at the local inner-city high school and had only been working for one month under contract. I had been there the year before, but only substituting. Now I would have to take maternity leave the next school year. I didn't like it but it had to be done.
Teaching was becoming more interesting as I grew bigger. Luckily summer was coming and I could relax, but in the meantime I had to be careful to not let my belly show. I didn't want anyone to know that I was pregnant because the teacher that I had filled in for the previous semester just got back from being on maternity leave. The other female teacher (in our group of four teachers), was about ready to give birth, the only male teacher in the group had a pregnant
