Once there was a beetle named Fuzzy who lived in a nearby field of tall grass and who never hurt anyone or spread gossip. He did all the nice things a beetle does, but foolishly enjoyed teasing the spiders that lived overhead. He was very careful to run when a spider started coming after him. Other than that, life was good and everything seemed fine. But things seldom stay the same.
It was a late midsummer’s eve when the calm was shattered with such a sound that all the bugs jumped in surprise and looked to see what the matter was. It turned out that some clowns from the city were taking their Jeep through the field for cheap thrills. All the bugs scampered for their holes and whatever shelter they could find, but some of them were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and got squashed.
Fuzzy screamed in bug language and started to climb the nearest weed to get a better view so as to know which way to jump to safety. The Jeep was still about a hundred feet from him and coming his way. Blinded by the headlights, he knew it would find him, he just knew it, and so he sat there waiting for the last possible moment.
As the vehicle approached he felt the thrill of excitement in his little nervous system. He was so caught up in it all that he didn’t notice a spider attach a tiny thread to his back. The Jeep was almost on him now and as he went to jump to the right he found he couldn’t move. The shock of realization hit him like a brick. What could he do? Trying not to panic, he squirmed and strained but to no avail. The Jeep came crashing through, directly over him now, and as it passed the spider attached a bigger piece of web to it. The vehicle ripped the spider along in its wake, with little Fuzzy being yanked up in the air and coming free and landing on a patch of soft grass.
Fuzzy could smell exhaust and a trace of…beer? He considered the whole situation and began to cry, and then laugh, and then he went to the local bug tavern and had several drinks of dandelion wine, enough to steady his nerves. Walking out into the still of the night, he began to dance and sing. He sure was a happy little bug.
As for the spider, it eventually pulled itself up onto the Jeep and finding it inedible, climbed higher and bit one of the occupants, who later developed a rash. Unfortunately the spider was too small to actually kill and eat one of them.
Why can’t we have bigger spiders around here?
