When It Has Become Her

She did not foresee, but she could sense its arrival! This is not the first time it has come gunning for her! It has arrived, without fanfare and without bothering about her antagonistic reaction to it! She knows that it appears just like that, out of the blue, as though it has got ownership rights on her! Her skin had crawled! Her whole body had shivered in anticipation of its demonic mission!

One moment her life was full of colors, rhythm and happiness and the next moment, it had peeped its head in, mocking at her plans and her audacity of planning things without bothering to take its existence into consideration! She is terrified of it! She has been terrified of it for a long time now! At the very first moment of its arrival, it takes charge of her body and mind ruthlessly, dominating her into submission! Her whole world stuns into a tormented silence till the time she fights the battle and wins the battle, pushes it out of her doors and postpone its arrival a bit more, a few months more, one day at a time!

She does not know how long she can play this cat and mouse game with it! How long can she wrestle herself out of its clutches? But then, she tries! She tries like mad! She tries like nobody has ever tried before! She tries as though it is the end of her world! But then, can anyone win it, argue with it and convince it not to come back ever again?

How can you argue with a mindless being? How can you spare yourselves from the violence of being banged day in and day out? Does it make any sense? It makes no sense at all!

At least she cannot be held responsible for such venom it spits out when it chooses to present its mighty self before her! She is tired of it all! May be, she should commit suicide and put a full stop to its unauthorized abuse of her body and mind once and for all!

Will it stop visiting her then, at least after her death? Will it still pursue her to the corners of the earth, heaven and more! How could she stop it? She must have mulled on this very problem a million times in the past and it does not stop her from pursuing on this topic a million times more!

There are plenty of ways to stop it from choosing her as a target forever! A plenty of people had promised her that! They had promised her that they can create miracles on her and it shall never dare to come close to her ever again! She had paid, paid and paid to them all and then by the end of it all, it had just walked back! It came back with a nasty smile on its face! It had looked her in the eyes and had laughed at her audacity of trying to stop it from visiting her! She knows that she had lost her battle at that point of time, but loosing the battle should not the end of the world!

She had cried! How long this is going to continue happening like this! How long she is going to fight the battle with it, knowing fully well that she can only postpone its arrival, but she can never succeed!

She had taken out the bottle of her pills! She is suffering from a worst kind of an inherited disease! She was wondering the billionth time as to what right the parents has got to pass on such diseases to their children? What kind of a system this is in the God's world?

She is on medication for a long time now and still the pain walks through her, killing her body and the spirit, making her to kneel in front it, begging for forgiveness and kindness! It just bounces on her unannounced and it possesses her like a demon! She becomes invalid when the pain kills her from inside! A hundred doctors can never cure her but still they give her the medications! There are more medicines in her cupboards now, than in the entire shop of a chemist!

She took yet another set of medication and was sitting, waiting for the pain to go away! She knows that it takes its own time to move out of her body and of her mind! She was waiting for the pain to move away so that at least for a short while, she shall become normal again! At least for a short period of time, the colors, rhythm and happiness shall become a part of her mind and body!