When I was a child, there was little said to me that was not criticism. I remember my father having this “angry image”, always the DETRACTOR. Even to this day, he seems to be not happy about what I do…My father is not the only one though, there were a lot of “difficult” people in my life!
Every time I remember how those people treated me in the past, my blood would boil and my adrenalin would go up.
Yes, I lived a very complicated life.
The effect?
I behaved based on the labels I have decided to accept.
The result?
I became miserable. I became angry with myself.
The tragedies of my life left a void in my life. I looked for peace, acceptance, and identity. Apart from God, I looked to other things to fill the void, the restlessness. Alcohol replaced the longing for love and consolation. That formed into a habit - my heart became restless. I looked for relationships that will meet my needs. I escaped the pain in many ways. However, God alone suffices. He alone is the answer to my deep longings and desires.
Apart from God, it took a person to help me believe in myself. Yes, my English professor in college pushed me to uncover my abilities! Since then, there was no turning back!
I firmly believe now that God has a plan for each of our lives. It is just a matter of discovering it. For me, it was a tortuous path. My Cross then is one difficulty I had to endure as a sign of my faithfulness and commitment to Jesus. Until He reminded me: “You teach people how to treat you.”
Truly, my past does not determine my future. God gave me a new life!
God knows better. To Him, it doesn't matter how often we fall as long as every time we do, we stand up immediately. He straightens out crooked lines. He turns disappointments into divine appointments.
Finally, I realized that in this life, you really need to pick your battles.
