What does it feel like to be lost? Not physically lost, but emotionally? I feel that I can shed some light on the subject. I have moved from job to job, state to state, and relationship to relationship,. I feel as though my life is passing me by and I am simply a spectator, and can do nothing to slow time down. Unable to decide on a career path, location in which to live, or to find a person to share it with.
I find myself at 25 single, working a job I hate, living in a strange city, and stressing out about the future and what I want to do. I know I am not alone in these feelings, the question is what to do about all the undecided things. I don’t know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want. I don’t want to live in the small town I grew up in. I want to live somewhere where there are endless opportunities and the feeling that there is always be something new and exciting to do. I don’t want to have a job to just pay the bills. I want a career doing something that I am passionate about and generally enjoy doing. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I can’t be myself, I want to find someone that will accept me for who I am. I’ve been told knowing what you want is the easy part and getting it is the hard part. I disagree, I have made many decisions on things I thought I wanted and successfully achieved them, just to find out it isn’t what I wanted after all.
I feel as though I will be chasing the image of happiness and never fully achieve it. I will waste my life jumping around trying to find the right fit, and never come across it. So what is one to do? Do I continue on the path I am on, with trial and error. Jumping from job to job, city to city, and relationship to relationship hoping that somewhere along the way I will find what I am looking for. Or do I settle for a job that pays the bills, a city where I have family and friends, and a guy that I get along with?
