If a death was a destiny so why I must cry when my father was dead? Honestly, I remember the memories with him so the tears fell down unwillingly. He always bought me Ice cream every time we went together to market. He seldom spoke with me so he express his love by gave everything that I wanted.
Now, I understand that not everything we can buy with money. I can not buy the love itself.
One thing, I don’t want to make my mother overloaded which can make her hair whiter. As a little girl years ago I only bought clothes three times a year and only several, I could count it by one hand. When Idul Fitri came I always waited for my brother, the son of my big aunt, who had been “someone that important: VIP” in my family anyway. He always gave me enough money to fulfill my needs of school or only to have better food at canteen almost similar with angpao.
But he never came again to our home, I didn’t know why.
Perhaps Allah wanted to examine me that, “The hands who give something to another is better than hands which accept it.”
Yeah, as a kid I only feel happy if someone gave me something, I hadn’t known about that wise advice by the way!
Years went by, so I forgot step by step about the accident of what had been happened to my dad. We seldom told about that anymore and there was no vengeance, but still, sometimes I wanted to know who were actually the murders who had killed my father and why they didn’t want to show their face? Hope the truth will be revealed!
4th of December 1993
We were talking each other, all family members pray together, we were going to the traditional market at the night, bought fried noodles and felt the air.
5th of December 1993
My mother was sick, my father wanted to buy some medicine for my mom. He walked then a car crashed him but his body was not bleeding or even broken.
7th of December 1993
Hope Allah forgave all his sins.
Vivid memory, to overcome one’s broken heart.
