Nothing is permanent, even hope or joy, disappointment too. Or perhaps in the end, everything is disappointment. I woke up this morning feeling fine but at 8 a.m. I was hopeless like a bum (take note, not loafer). The computer I was using suddenly went crazy and I felt betrayed. So much has been said about the wonders of computer but what if it goes out of control and doesn’t want to work anymore? Tsk, tsk, tsk. A lesson on too much reliance on what they call high-tech products.
I wrote this perhaps to avoid thinking about it over and over. I had to write although every word tortured me. Writing is really a lonely activity but it’s the only way (maybe talking will help, too, or drinking but if you are already dead drunk, you’re as good as a bum, ah) for me to handle my oversensitive nature. I have to defend myself from the onslaught of distress and frustration, or boredom, complacency, lethargy, whatever that may affect my temperament. So expect me to be doing this from time to time no matter what happens, because I refuse to be a mere stick in the mud.
