I do not wish to pretend to be an expert on the secrets of life or the mysteries of death. Neither does providing answers to questions about the same a reason why I am writing this essay. The only reason is that I want to share a little bit of myself to anyone who could get the chance to read my work. I only want to share my thoughts, fears, anxieties, aspirations, and most of all, beliefs on life and death.
As I am writing these words, I am twenty-one years old. When I was a lot younger, I always wondered, why am I alive? Why am I conscious of the world and everything that is happening around me? Why is there life in me? As I continued with my musings, I saw myself in my mind growing in years - ten, twenty, forty, seventy, and later on lay in a coffin. Dead. Then I started to become afraid; become afraid of the fact that someday, I will die. I guess nothing has changed much. I still feel the same fear that I felt years ago. I am still afraid to die.
According to a German philosopher, Martin Heidegger, man is a being-towards-death. Death is the only irreplaceably reality in a man's life. Every man will die sooner or later and no one can ever take his place on his deathbed. No matter what I do, I will die and nobody can die in my stead.
I am afraid to die because I do not know what will happen to me (or my soul) when I die. Will I find a very long and dark tunnel with a bright light shining far up its end? I do not know. No one really knows. Obviously, I am afraid of the unknown. And what is the unknown? For me, death is the unknown. Death is the realm of utmost mystery.
But why think about death when I am still young, alive, and full of vigor and vivacity? Why fear something that would only come, probably, a couple of score years later? Why not appreciate life instead? Why bother myself with something so vague, unpredictable and morbid? Why even think of death when I am at the prime of my youth and overflowing with great possibilities? Well, to say it bluntly, I cannot think and talk and write about death when I am already dead. So, is there any other better time to think and talk and write about death than now, when I am still alive? Actually, I think I've got a problem with life.
Life has become so predictable. Everything to the tiniest of all organisms can be determined and defined. We progress everyday in the fields of science and technology, mathematics and philosophy. In a few more years, we might just be lucky enough to discover the hidden mysteries of the universe or even the mysteries of God. But, I do not think that we can ever learn the mystery of death. We know so much about life, but about death, we know so little. Majority of the accounts from those who were able to brush with death are not really very clear and strongly founded. The rest are simply dubitable. There is no scientific method that we can use to learn the mystery of death. We can never know what lies beyond this life until we get there ourselves. There is just no other way. But, I do not want to die just yet. I love my life and I am happy with it.
Simply, what do I want to say? Where am I coming from? Actually, my thoughts are very simple. Whenever I look around me, I feel so lonely. I feel so lonely because I can clearly see the reality that most people today are at the brink of losing their sense of sin. Whenever I watch the television, surf on the internet, listen to the radio, or ride to school, I cannot keep myself from seeing the decay of human morality. The moral standards of our world are starting to crumble and it seems that we are not doing anything about it. We have become a blinded race, a corrupted generation. And I do plead guilty of this accusation. And when we die, what happens next? If there is really such a reality and truth about hell, I pray that we be salvaged from that state because otherwise would be totally unbearable especially for us who have totally exploited the comforts of life. Of course, I believe in God's mercy and I also believe that that mercy extends even to those who do not believe in God. But still, let us pray for one another. Let us pray that may each and every one of us think about death right now, at this moment and that may we be able to find our way back to our former morality - to the rediscovery of the sense of sin.
