Secretly, I wish I were a full-out whore. Then, the thought of me possibly not having sex with him would never be present in his mind.
Secretly, I wish I were anorexically skinny. Then, I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I'm not "pretty" enough for him. I wouldn't have to worry about ever extra pound being a negative point towards him liking me for me.
Secretly, I wish I could still have my amazing memory, but some how never remember all of thelies he's told me.
Secretly, I think i'm the onnly girl good enough for m best friend. Even though, honestly, I no longer have feelings for him.
Secretly, I wish I could just fall in love with this best friend of mine. It'd make life a lot easier. He's the only guy I really trust. It's hard for me to trust these days.
Secretly, I wish for once, I would not fall for the "bad" guys, but I'm not sure I can help my strange attraction toward them.
Secretly, I wish there was one guy out there that I would like that wouldn't be involved with sex, drugs, and alcohol.
Secretly, I do want to save sex for marriage, but I'm afraid of losing him.
Secretly, I wonder what's wrong with me for him to play me like he does.
Secretly, I wonder how truthful he is whenever he says anything that has to do with liking me.
Secretly, I wonder what he thinks about at night, and if I'm ever on his mind.
Secretly, I wonder if maybe all of those texts and voicemails I left him really get through. I want him to really know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up his "cousin" again. Even if it's clear that something's going on with them.
Secretly, I go to her myspace and I see those picture comments he left her. He's "never liked her though."
Secretly, I'm afraid of never being happy.
Secretly, I have this huge fear of getting divorced.
Secretly, I'm incredibly jealous of old couples that are still in love.
Secretly, I wish I were perfect so he'd want me for forever.
Secretly, I can't sleep tonight because I miss him too much.
Secretly, my pillow is covered with mascara from crying myself to sleep.
Secretly, i'm trying not be self-conscious, but not many people know I've gotten this bad anyway.
Secretly, I snuck out of bed to write down all these thoughts at one in the morning.
