I have seen dozens, perhaps hundreds of horror movies, so I don't scare easily anymore. Slasher movies don't scare me, although “Halloween” can still creep me out. In fact, the only movie that has even put me close to being on the edge of my seat is “The Descent”. Do see it, if you like to be scared. Don't see it, if you like sleeping at night.
I visit horror movie websites daily, for updates on new films or books, or to read and chat about older classics. I see a lot and read a lot. I know that some Japanese horror can be really bizarre. And some of this “torture” horror can seriously gross me out. But I rarely get spooked.
I read page-turning scary books. You know, the kind you want to read with one small light on, late at night, so that eventually the drip, drip, drip you hear from the kitchen faucet sounds more like fresh blood hitting the floor, a killer lurking in the darkness. Yet I sleep like a baby afterwards.
Heck, I even have a foot tall statue of Jason Voorhees, serial killer extraordinaire, right in our den. It causes double-takes among visitors, but it doesn't freak me out. I actually think it's cool.
Now, all this horror movie, eerie stuff aside, I also don't find monkeys scary. They can be freaking hilarious, but do not generate any fear in me. I am not unnerved by anthropomorphic characters. I like Scooby-Doo or Yogi Bear as much as anybody.
And, (yes, I am heading towards my point), jaunty little fez hats are okay, if you like that sort of thing. And tiny embroidered vests are only unsettling if you are over 10 or under 75.
So why, then, am I completely and utterly terrified each and every time I see the freaky, flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz”?
Why did the completely evil, diabolical Wicked Witch actually spend time dressing up these abominations of nature? I know, “To each their own.“ She had to be seriously unbalanced to do all she did, and the monkeys are a prime example of her insanity.
And people think I have screws loose.
It used to be okay when I was a kid and the movie aired but once a year. Then I would only need, oh, say a couple of months of lights on, doors open, restless nights' sleep.
But now it airs again and again. On so called “family channels”, no less. And you can get the DVD to watch whenever you want. Why. I don't know.
I will be sleeping with the lights on tonight, thank you.
Dang monkeys and their little outfits.
good work, though.